Sitting on the stone steps surrounding the pond at Schenley for the last blog, I can't help but be affected the book we've just finished for class, "The Forest Unseen", by David George Haskell. His miniature scrutinization, dedication, and focus on every small aspect of a tiny piece of forest is inspiring. What has occurred and transformed here by my pond that I was unaware? What small lives were affected and changed while I sat among them, inattentive to their well being and perspective? I could spend years upon years studying the activity and life forms that populate this pond and the surrounding land and probably never fully understand them. There's so much we take advantage of that makes up our lives and scenery, such little aspects that affect us, brightening and enhancing our experience on the earth, that go unappreciated at times. Drawing from the tradition and practice of meditation, says Haskell, is a way of truly engaging with these less obvious details. It takes a stillness, a quiet mind, an observation careful and undisturbed, and definitely a lot of control. Nature, for me, always has a reflective effect, but reading such an extensive, in depth text makes me aware of my own difficulties at being still.
Thinking about the particulars around the pond that I've neglected makes me think about my own existence, too. What things have occurred and transformed within myself this semester, through reflections on this small space around me and in my life in general? What was affected and changed within me that I've been so busy in my daily activities that I was unaware of?
I think I will return to the pond weekly, at least for a little while. Now that the semester is coming to a close and I'll have a little more leisure time for reading and writing other than what is required from classes, I want to delve into those unknowns. These questions that I want to ask of myself can only be found through the type of persistent, still meditation that Haskell mentioned, and now that they've arisen in my mind, the anticipation of the answers are great. The space around the pond has become mine, regardless of what it was to me before, what it is to others, what it is to itself. It's released an inner peace and contemplative atmosphere that I want to take advantage of. Knowing the incredible thoughts and awarenesses I've expanded on during my blogging time for class, I'm excited to see what will come of actually having the time and relaxation to let my mind be still and unburdened. At the same time, because I have been able to grasp so much from this natural space around me, and through many of the readings we've explored this semester, I feel a need to return what I have gained. Maybe not specifically in this area; I'm not sure how much attention it needs really since it's pretty well cared for. But admiration alone is not enough, I've learned. I want to actively become an advocate for these beautiful places and even the not so beautiful ones- the simple, everyday bits of nature around us that need focus, too. I've gained so much from this experience of familiarity with a place, through these activist readings from the Nature Writing course, and now I want to give back.
It's good to take time out of each day for yourself I've learned. Keeping sane, keeping healthy in your mental and emotional state, keeping a vigil in your heart for your own well being is the only thing that can help you be what you need to be for others- friend, lover, daughter, confidante, activist. Through conversation with a good friend of mine, I've grown to see that without your own stability, how can you be a whole person that is able to give of yourselves to those who need you? I find this balance and calmness within myself in this place, most specifically at the tree that I connected with on the path around the pond. Some sort of renewal of spirit, a transference of energy maybe, occurs when I spend time in front of it. I feel recharged and assertive, confident in my abilities and person by appreciating the world in front of me. Something about the energy from my magical tree gives back exactly the attention and appreciation I put into it, like my own reflection is mirrored back to me through this external entity that I love.
What a beautiful thing it is to give and to receive.
A very nice conclusion and reflection for your blog. I really enjoyed the sentence "The space around the pond has become mine, regardless of what it was to me before, what it is to others, what it is to itself." I feel many of us share this sentiment after this semester.
ReplyDeleteBut admiration alone is not enough, I've learned. I want to actively become an advocate for these beautiful places and even the not so beautiful ones- the simple, everyday bits of nature around us that need focus, too.
ReplyDeleteA true insight. Your time in the park, your witness to all that it has to offer, comes from the awareness of one who has learned to recognize the interconnectedness of the wider world. I am sure you will advocate for all the spaces - you have great gifts to offer. Thank you for letting us be a part of your world this semester.